Hookup Regret: What is it, why do we do it, and how do we get over it?

by Laurie Berzack

Hookup regret happens when there is no forethought with intimacy and no commitment attached to the hookup. It’s all about motivation. If the hookup is solely meeting a physical need and there’s no expectation around the hookup, that’s one thing. But if someone is authentically seeking a relationship and instead they end up hooking up, that’s where the regret comes in.

People might hook up with partners they don’t really know or like out of loneliness, inebriation, or both! A hook up might be the result of a misguided search for love, or it might be a hasty decision made under the influence of alcohol or recreational drugs. Either way, if a hookup is devoid of any long-lasting feeling, it can create sadness, uneasiness or remorse after the fact.

To get over hookup regret, first, you must forgive yourself for the action taken. Then, decide to make a different decision in the future. Avoid situations where you will be under the influence in the company of potentially regrettable hookups. We need to be more protective of ourselves and our bodies. If you’re hooking up and then regretting it, deal with the loneliness factor in a healthier way. The more we love and respect ourselves, the less likely we are to give our bodies over to a stranger. The more grounded we can be in who we really are, the less likely we are to confuse physical connection with emotional and spiritual connection.

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