Carolinas Matchmaker‘s Reset Plan to Reclaim Joy (and Better Matches) Charlotte Today segment.

If dating apps leave you drained instead of excited, you’re in good company. Endless swiping, stalled conversations, and ghosting can make dating feel less like a search for connection and more like a second job. According to acclaimed matchmaker Laurie Berzack, that exhaustion isn’t a personal failure—it’s a signal to change your approach.

“I hear this every single day from clients—people aren’t just frustrated, they’re burnt out,” says Berzack, founder of Carolinas Matchmaker. “And the worst thing you can do when you feel that way is keep pushing through it.”

Here are some great tips to employ:

A Smart Reset (Not Quitting)

Berzack’s first recommendation is bold but effective: take dating completely off the table for a month, even up to six weeks. “Use that time to date yourself,” she says. “Try new restaurants, join a club, take a class, get outside, reconnect with what actually makes you happy.” During this reset, she also suggests journaling. “Get clear on what you want your life to look like—not just who you want to date, but how you want to feel in a relationship.”

Meet People Where Life Happens

Next, step away from the apps and into real life. Fitness classes, social clubs, networking events, coffee shops, places of worship, Meetups, and nonprofit work all create natural opportunities to connect. “You’re seeing how someone moves through the world in real time—not just a profile,” Berzack notes.

Activate Your Network

One of her most underused strategies? Let people know you’re open. “Tell your friends, family, even coworkers,” she says. “People love to play matchmaker—and those introductions tend to be higher quality because there’s already trust.”

The Return—With Intention

Eventually, many people do return to dating apps—but differently. “Set limits, refresh your photos, and make sure your profile reflects who you are now,” Berzack advises. “When you approach dating from a grounded, energized place instead of burnout,” Berzack says, “everything changes—the people you attract, the conversations you have, and the results.” Dating shouldn’t drain you. With intention and balance, it can energize you again.

For more information follow on Instagram @CarolinaMatchmaker.